Wow, slacker and where we are now which is Seattle

Two months. How did that happen? Two months since my last post, which means I don't know what to write about because too much has happened. I am gonna start with where we are now (which is Seattle) and then try to back blog (is that a thing?) if I am still feeling motivated.

Yes, we moved to Seattle. It is only temporary, a 12 week stint to be exact, for Joe to intern with Amazon. This stint means that we will likely make 4 cross country moves in two years. Of course, being that this move is for such a short period of time it is more like an extended vacation but with a little less free time (mostly for Joe). He would have already worked his tail off if he had had one to begin with.

Speaking of vacation, did I mention that Amazon is paying for someone to come clean my bathroom (and the rest of my house too) every other week? Thank. You. Amazon. One more reason to love them. I guess the fact that they are paying Joe may be of  slightly greater importance, but only slightly.

So, here we are and so far it has been great. Our apartment (fully furnished--Maggie and I have taken to calling it the hotel house) is right on the edge of this fantastic park that has miles of trails and borders Lake Washington.

The location of our apartment and the proximity of the park means that yesterday I tossed my kids in the second expensive running stroller that I have purchased (got a double Bob off Craigslist and I am in stroller heaven!) to add to our ever growing fleet of strollers (I think we own 6 which is not justifiable at all even though I keep trying to justify it). The original plan was to buy the stroller at the beginning of the summer and sell it at the end, but my used-to-be-secret plan is to just not sell it because it is amazing!!! I am getting a little off topic. Let me try again.

Yesterday, I tossed my kids in the stroller and ran on an incredible trail bordering Lake Washington until we arrived at a massive playground at which point we had a picnic and the kids played and played and played. As I was running home, I thought to myself, "I don't think it can get any better than this." Then I remembered that I used to run with Maggie on a bluff over looking the Pacific Ocean in Santa Monica where it never rained on me and the sun actually shined, but I didn't have my little Jack yet. Finally, I decided that I didn't know if it could get better or not, but I do know that I am a mighty lucky gal.

Speaking of being a lucky gal, Joe and I have been blessed with such great friends. It has been so fun to reconnect with Jen and Mike whom we have been friends with (in Joe's case) since before our marriage even began. We used to have dinner at their house nearly every Sunday while we were all still at BYU, and the Sunday dinner tradition has been rekindled. I am gonna have to dedicate an entire post to the fun that we have had with them since we have been in Seattle because there has been too much fun to talk about right here.

We spent Memorial Day with Teri (Joe's sister) and her family and it was wonderful. Teri and I scheduled  play dates each week throughout the summer at various Seattle highlights so that  I can see the sights and more importantly see Teri! And, I am really excited!

Wow. This post has included lots and lots of good. How lucky I am. On the slightly bad, I think it has actually rained every day except for 1 since we have been here which is a kinda blah (I was hoping that Seattle just has a bad rap, but I think my time in Santa Monica just gave me unrealistic expectations). The payoff for all the rain is some serious green, though. This place is beautiful! It is my opinion that mossy trees are one of the most magical, whimsical treats of nature. I adore them. On that note, after lots and lots of words, I will conclude with 1 picture and no more rambling.

Carkeek Park

Challenges

Unless you enjoy rambling, you might want to stop reading right here. I am kinda wordy lately. I think it is because Joe has been gone so much that I have to type out all my words 'cause you can only talk on a two-year old level for so long before feeling a little crazy.

Speaking of two year olds, I am glad that there is at least one little person that enjoys it when I sing at the top of my lungs and dance like a moron. Her name is Maggie and she is mine. Today I am happy about that. Yesterday, not so much.

It is absolutely amazing how my attitude is reflected in her behavior. The last few weeks have been extra stressful as Joe has been recruiting for internships. For some reason it has been a lot worse than it sounds. He is out of town for the second weekend in a row. While he was out of town last weekend I got mastitis, Maggie got the flu (while I was at my sickest), then I got the flu (luckily Joe was back by then) but unluckily, I threw up my antibiotics which meant that mastitis came back. Poor little Jack's milk was seriously pussy (green I tell ya). Too much info probably, but hey, I was an ER nurse in my day and there is still a part of me that finds puss kinda cool. Anyway, all this sickness and stress turned me into a MONSTER. I was grumpy grumpy grumpy and Maggie was disobedient, mean, and generally unpleasant which made me more grumpy. Last night I finally felt well enough that I turned some old conference talks on my ipod and began cleaning our apartment which was a disaster after the last week of me laying on the couch and doing nothing. A couple good hours of cleaning coupled with (and more importantly) a little spiritual nourishment that I had been sorely needing, and I finally started to feel a real peace that I have not felt in a long time. Today I was feeling so much better, and like magic, Maggie was fun, playful, cute, and occasionally obedient.

Three passages from Lorenzo Snow in Chapter 7 of the Teachings of the Presidents of the Church were especially uplifting to me:

This one:

From the time of our receiving the Gospel to the present, the Lord has from time to time given us trials and afflictions, if we may so call them; and sometimes these trials have been of that nature that we have found it very difficult to receive them without murmur and complaint. Yet at such times the Lord blessed us and gave us sufficient of His Spirit to enable us to overcome the temptations and endure the trials. Every man and woman who serves the Lord, no matter how faithful they may be, have their dark hours; but if they have lived faithfully, light will burst upon them and relief will be furnished.

This one:

Many of you may have severe trials, that your faith may become more perfect, your confidence be increased, your knowledge of the powers of heaven be augmented; and this before your redemption takes place. If a stormy cloud sweep over the horizon … ; if the cup of bitter suffering be offered, and you compelled to partake; Satan let loose to go among you, with all his seductive powers of deceivings and cunning craftiness; the strong relentless arm of persecution lifted against you;—then, in that hour, lift up your heads and rejoice that you are accounted worthy to suffer thus with Jesus, the Saints, and holy prophets; and know that the period of your redemption has approached.

And this one:

We have every reason to rejoice and to be full of joy and satisfaction, notwithstanding the difficulties that surround us. And how far have we advanced, how much knowledge have we obtained and how much more are we able to bear now than one, two or five years ago, and are we able to stand more now than a few years ago? The Lord has strengthened us and increased us in our growth. Like the infant, when it grows up it knows not how it received gradual strength and the manner in which it increased in stature. It is larger this year than last. So in regard to our spiritual advancement. We feel stronger today than we did a year ago.

I was looking at things all wrong. I had this idea in my head that I have so many blessings that I have no right to complain or be sad. Period. I  felt like sadness or acknowledging my trials would be a lack of gratitude. As I talked with Joe (in his wisdom . . . oh so wise Baxter) he pointed out that we are supposed to count our blessings (which I thought I had been doing), not look at the sum of our blessings. What a slight but important distinction. My approach was this: I have a lot of blessings so I shouldn't notice my trials and I should be happy. A much better approach is to acknowledge that this or that might be challenging right now but I have this blessing + blessing + blessing + . . .  Somehow that second method makes all the difference. Maybe it is because in the second scenario I don't have to pretend like I never have any problems. My problems or trials are given to me to help me grow, and I shouldn't compare my trials to others even if my intent is to minimize my own. My trials are hard because they are mine and that is okay. And I have a lot of blessings too. And that is awesome.

I just saw this beautiful picture for the first time. If anyone knows who the artist is, I would love to know.

We are here.

We made it! Of course, we've been here almost two weeks now. I don't have any pictures yet, but we are starting to get settled in; there are still boxes yet to unpack and many things yet to do before little Jack comes to join us. I should be working on all those things instead of typing. Oh well.

Here are a few first impressions:
1. Very nice people. We have been VERY warmly welcomed. I am so grateful for all the people who have been so nice and friendly!
2. Tree lined streets and farms. Very green. Beautiful. Rural.
3. I am never going to learn my way around. All streets looks the same. . . two-lane, tree-lined, winding, and headed where? I don't know. That is the point.
4. Deer are EVERYWHERE. One day I counted 11.
5. Fireflies make me feel like a little kid.
6. Intolerably hot. Santa Monica spoiled me BIG TIME. Also, I am 38 weeks pregnant. That doesn't help.
7. Shopping . . . not so much.
8. No traffic. That is nice.
9. Very hilly. Running with a stroller is going to be a challenge. Plus, there are no sidewalks.
10. I have to walk down two flights of stairs, outside, down a hill, to the back of the building to do laundry. When it snows and I have a newborn and a toddler who likes to run away this is not going to be very fun.
11. The hospital where I am going to deliver is tiny. I know size is not a reflection on quality, but having come from working at Ronald Reagan UCLA which is regularly ranked as one of the best hospitals in the country, this hospital feels a little small. I mean, does it still count as a NICU is there are no babies in it? I shouldn't be nervous. Can't help it.
12. On Monday I picked 4 pounds of blueberries. Yummy! They are already half gone. If Jack doesn't show up soon, I am going to go pick some more.
13. An ice cream shop with 24 flavors of soft serve ice cream . I don't know if Maggie, myself, or Joe was most in heaven.

Maggie is adjusting somewhere between pretty well and not great. I don't know if she just happened to have a sudden onset of terrible two's coincidentally upon our arrival or if her behavior is really move related, but I am sure having a very pregnant (i.e. grumpy, hot) mom who is unpacking boxes instead of taking her to the beach doesn't help. Also, we accidentally set the fire alarm off in her room when resetting the fuse box while she was sleeping. It scared the poor little thing half to death, so she doesn't really care for her new room very much. I am hoping that she starts feeling more comfortable pretty soon. I am nervous about bringing a new baby into her world that already feels like it is sitting on it's head. But, she loves babies (and not much we can do about it now anyway). I am sure that it is just a matter of time before this place starts feeling like home to all of us. In the meantime, I am going to eat blueberries. Lots and lots of blueberries.

Families

This last weekend I spent two nights in the ER as I do every 2 weeks.

Among my patients this weekend were two little girls: one was 11 years old with leukemia; she was little more than a skeleton (she only looked to be about 4 years old) and I am certain doesn't have much time left on this earth. She has probably spent mostof her life in hospitals along with her devoted parents, but she was a little angel and her parents cheerful, patient, and caring. The other little girl was only 10 weeks old and had a severe heart defect; although she appeared to be thriving, she had very poor cardiac output, and I am not sure was her prognosis will be. She also had loving and devoted parents.

As I cared for these two little girls I felt very strongly how much their Father in Heaven loved them as he does each of us. I felt so strongly that he sent those two sweet girls to earth so that they could get bodies and therefore return to Him one day as exalted beings.

I also cared for two elderly women. One was 87, feisty and vibrant. The other was 97 and quite sickly, but they shared one important similarity. They both had devoted and loving caregivers (one had a daughter and the other a niece). I could easily see how much each of these younger women loved the elder so dearly and how willingly the caregivers offered the care that now, in their later years, my patients require.

Taking care of these four patients in such a short window has made me ponder how brief and frail our existence on this earth is. At the same time, it made me realize how wise and loving our Heavenly Father is; how perfect his plan is for us to come to this earth in family units that can last for eternity. It is truly amazing. I am so grateful for my fantastic family.

On that note, Joe and I have been super fortunate to spend a lot of time with our families over the last month which has been an infrequent treat since we have moved to California. We loved visits from Joe's sister TeriAnne and her family, my parents, my brother Jeff and his wife Sam, and also loved spending some time in Utah with the rest of Joe's family.

Me and Wink

I love being a mom (probably obvious as you look at my blog and it is just picture after picture of one cute little girl), but I actually have been amazed at how much joy (and sometimes stress, laundry, and laughter) a little baby can bring to your life. I love having my little buddy tag along with me all the time. She makes the most mundane tasks seem like fun whether she is waving to people at the grocery store or pulling everything out of my cupboards as I make dinner. 

Beach Baby

One reason that I love Santa Monica . . .

. . . Also, look at those blue eyes . . . she has her Grandma Webb to thank for those eyes.

This is going to be a weekly occurrence now that the weather is warming up. I managed (at least mostly) to keep Maggie from eating sand this time. She giggles and shrieks every time she we put her feet in the waves. I don't think she loves her sun hat quite as much.

Baby proofing? . . . Good luck

What is this? I can tell you. It is a tack that holds a metal strip (the kind that separates two different types of flooring) to the ground.

What is it not? I can tell you this too. It is not something that you want to be fishing out of your 10 month old's mouth. My mischievous child pulled this one our of the floor with her teeth (or at least I am assuming) because as soon as I removed this one from her possession she went back for another one, undaunted and teeth first.

Hard to believe . . . she looks so innocent. On that note, I decided I was going to be proactive about baby proofing an area of our house that has several electric cords and a power stick. Winky has never particularly paid attention to the cords, but they are near an area that she likes to play, so Joe and I went to BabiesRUs and purchased every type of safety item for electric cords that you can imagine. Today I installed a cover over the power strip that looks kind of like this.

Smart, right? Well, almost, but as it turns out, Winky can fit her hand through that center opening, and then the safety cover turns into a little monkey trap. My little monkey stuck her hand through the opening, grabbed onto a cord and her pudgy little hand would no longer fit back out the opening. As I was ducking under our electric piano, trying to get her to open her hand so that I could pull it back out I started to wonder if Joe was going to come home and find us in exactly that spot, with Winky still holding onto a cord (very proud of herself by the way) and me trying to wrench her little hand free. Luckily, she is 10 months old (i.e. distractible) so I did eventually win. But now, with all my "safety/baby proofing" objects in place, Winky doesn't want to play with ANYTHING else. If I place her on the opposite side of the room, I have exactly the amount of time it takes for her to cross the room to get anything done, before I am sternly telling her no, picking her up, and trying to interest her in SOMETHING else. Obviously, she is taking a nap right now, or else I WOULD NOT have time to type this post.

What a little stinker. I really like her.

Someone loves her peas

Laundry Machines

Today I hauled my laundry down two flights of stairs and across the parking garage to the coin-op machines in my apartment building. Usually I try to squeeze in this task while Maggie is napping, but I rarely get it all done before she wakes up wanting to eat. This time, as I was leaving my apartment to manage my laundry, Maggie woke up even earlier than she normally does from her nap. Earlier in the day she had to have a vaccine, making her temperament a little unpredictable, so I also carried her in her HUGE car seat down two flights of stairs and across the parking garage. The whole way I was cursing apartment living and pining over the washer and dryer that we sold when we moved to Santa Monica; I was remembering how laundry didn't used to hardly count as a chore. I could toss in dirty laundry just before going to bed and have clean clothes by morning. I didn't need to babysit my laundry and I definitely didn't need to plan my whole day around it.

As I was cursing and cursing my laundry situation, I remembered an experience that I had when Joe and I were in Ghana a few years ago. We were living in apartments on the temple grounds. Ghanaians would travel from their villages and stay in the apartments when they were able to visit the temple (for many a once in a life time experience). One day when I was putting a load of laundry in the coin-op machines in the building, a young Ghanaian mom stood shyly watching me. As I finished, she asked me if I would show her how to use the machines. I helped her get her wash started, and by the time I finished explaining how to move her clothes to the dryer, start the machine, etc. she was almost jumping up and down with excitement. She had never seen anything so amazingly convenient in her whole life. I remember feeling so humbled by all the things I take for granted in my life--things like washing machines.

So, I am grateful that I had that experience because it helps me keep things in perspective. How lucky am I, that all I have to do is carry my clothes down a two flights of stairs and toss them in a washing machine? How lucky am I, that I have so many clothes that I have to do several loads of laundry each week to keep up?

Instead of cursing, I should be counting my blessings, so today I am trying to be grateful for washing machines, even when they are two stair flights away.